When You're Married To A Woman With Natural Hair.

LOL!!! I came across this post when someone posted the link on Facebook and I KNEW I just had to share it here. It's too funny - plus as a woman with natural hair, it's also soooooooooooooooo true! lolll. I asked permission from 'Naijahusband' and so I'm posting here for you to cackle as much as I did.

Enjoy!

When you’re married to a woman with natural hair… or a woman who wears her own hair…or a woman with any hair at all to be honest, you have to grow accustomed to certain things.

Let me try to list a few.

1) Watching her Bathroom Turn into a Mad Scientist’s Laboratory 

On any given day, NaijaWife, when not harassing me over my television watching, will disappear for hours. Once I don’t hear her asking me “what are you doing?” I know that means she has locked herself in the bathroom again.

I remember the first day I walked up to her bathroom door, curious to hear what was keeping her so long.  Smoke was coming out of the bottom of the door, and I think I heard some screams.

Moving closer, I could hear voices inside the bathroom (which I later realized were the faint sounds of a youtube video) giving her the following instructions:

• Add 1/2 cup of  castor oil
• Add 1 tsp of lavender oil
• Add 10 drops of peppermint oil

I thought she was making a secret batch of candy until I heard the next few steps

• Add 10 bat’s eyes
• Add 1 goat’s head
• Add the white feathers of a dove

WHAT was she making?! Herbal medicine? A witches potion?

Nope.

I may be exaggerating about the ingredients, but it turned out she was making yet another “team natural” concoction.  Week after week I noticed she’d go through the same process until one day she came running out of the bathroom screaming:

“AT LAST! AT LAST! I”VE DONE IT! THEY SAID IT COULDN”T BE DONE! BUT I PROVED THEM WRONG! THEY WERE FOOLS TO DOUBT ME! I FINALLY MASTERED THE “SHEA BUTTER COCONUT MILK CHERRY BLOSSOM TREATMENT!” HAHAHAHA!

Vaginal Cream For Hair Growth?

So I was at the local supermarket doing some 'quick fix' shopping for my bare fridge - I pick up a couple of pineapples and head to the counter to pay so I can head home and gorge on what I can tell will be juicy, succulent pineapples (yum!).

At the counter, is an old classmate with whom I'd just had a conversation while shopping earlier - she'd commented on my natural hair and we'd had a little chat. I set my pineapples down and she looks at them and asks quite innocently 'So is that for your hair?'.

Now those who know me, know how hard and loud I can laugh and I truly let go at this point. I mean I know 'Naturalistas' are as adventurous as they come - using everything from Palm Oil  to baby food all in a bid to get perfectly moisturized curls; but pineapples?! loll heck, who am I kidding, there's probably somebody somewhere who's tried pineapple juice as an elixir of sorts.

Which kind of brings me to my topic today - using vaginal cream (Monistat) to boost hair growth.